The toaster
Still availableFor the friend who misunderstood the assignment.
Together with their families
America First.Open Bar Courtesy
of Russia.
A celebration of love
and extraordinary generosity.
YOUR PRESENCE IS OUR PRESENT.
Yes, there’s a real story.
Donald Trump Jr. and Bettina confirmed that Putin associate Umar Kremlev helped fund their post-wedding celebrations. They described it as a friend’s gift without political motives. AP coverage · The receipts
A celebration to remember
Some friends bring a gift.
Others bring a budget.
Every love story is special.
Ours requires a statement.
We always dreamed of being surrounded by the people who matter most. Family. Friends. Whoever needs the invoice.
Thank you for respecting our privacy while enjoying this website about our privacy.
For the actual reporting, this wayEnglish / Русский
The very normal wedding registry
Something borrowed.
Someone else paid.
We’re fortunate to have so much. And such well-resourced friends.
The bath towels
Still availableFor the couple who already have everything else covered.
The private island
Already purchasedYour presence is our present. Unless you can cover an island.
The fireworks
Already purchasedNothing says intimate gathering like a visible-from-space finale.
The explanation
BackorderedWe appreciate your patience during this unusually busy news cycle.
The thank-you note
Draft in progressFinding the right words can take a whole communications team.
A fictional registry. No gifts, payments or contributions are accepted here.
Our complimentary matching service
Find your wedding oligarch.
Your dream wedding could be three questions away.
Your completely fictional result
Just satire. No matches or actual wedding financing. Your quiz answers stay in your browser.
A note on etiquette
We thought you might ask.
What’s the dress code?
Black tie. Gold accents. An expression that suggests none of this is unusual.
Which side should I sit on?
Bride’s side. Groom’s side. Accounts payable.
Is it rude to ask who paid?
Apparently. Please direct all further questions to The Receipts.
Read the reportingShould I bring a plus-one?
Of course. Especially if they’re willing to become a plus-one-hundred-thousand.
Is this their actual wedding website?
No. This is independent political satire. The registry, welcome and quiz are invented. The reporting behind the joke is linked on The Receipts page.
Kindly leave your name
The Guestbook
Your presence is requested. Your email will do.
Wedding favors
A little something to remember it by.
You’ll have to pay for these yourself.
Preview the wedding favors